My father was taking me to enroll in college. The whole family, all nine of us, was in the station wagon driving down Highway 40 to Indiana State University when we had a flat tire about 20 miles from home and 30 miles from the college. We all piled out of the car while he changed the tire using the spare. We piled back in the car and a few miles up the road the spare tire explodes. Fortunately, no one was injured and a gas station that sold tires was within sight.
My father had NO money, no credit card, no one to call to borrow the money, and no one to call to bring a spare tire. With seven kids and a wife all looking to him for a solution, I watched this proud 6’3”, 185-pound Black man beg the white owner of the gas station for a tire giving him his watch as collateral. The owner “loaned” him the tire and I finally got to school. To this day I remember the hurt and shame in his eyes. My father went back a couple of weeks later, paid for the tire and the owner returned his watch.
Several years later this memory comes back to me as I am driving my new BMW X5 out of town alone. I turned too sharply and hit the curb exploding the back passenger tire. The BMW has Pirelli tires costing upwards to $700 each. I take out my cell phone, called a tow service that brings the tire with them and puts it on while I wait. A crisis for my father was just an inconvenience for me!
My circumstances could have easily been the same if I had followed his example. He showed me how NOT to handle my finances. He got credit and then did not pay as he promised. If we had a real emergency, he would “borrow” the money and never repay it. He worked all the time--sometimes 3 jobs, although when he got extra income, like his tax refund, saving some of it NEVER entered his mind. He spent it. ALL OF IT. Once it was spent on new living room furniture (a WHITE couch with 7 kids in the house)! A new stereo encased in a beautiful walnut cabinet and new clothes for everybody. We had new clothes every holiday—Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, New Years Day, Birthdays. When the collection letters came in the mail, he threw them away saying “can’t get blood from a turnip”. Then sadly had to come home and face my mother when the garnishments hit his paycheck. I understand now that he was keeping up an “image”. Our family had it together! He did not want anyone to think we were poor. He did not want to share our “reality” with the outside world. So it is with many of us. We are keeping up an “image” that does not reflect our “reality”. Let’s make our “image” match our “reality". Let’s begin the journey to financial wellness.
Call to Action:
In navigating the path to financial wellness, the distinction between facing a mere inconvenience and enduring a crisis often rests on the foundation of a robust emergency fund. If you’re ready to embark on this journey towards securing your financial future, Onyx Rising is your ideal partner. We can support you and/or your employees in creating a realistic plan to rise. Our “Money Matters Bootcamp” offers comprehensive workshops designed to empower you with the knowledge and tools necessary for building a resilient financial safety net. Don’t let another day pass in uncertainty. Schedule a consultation today and transform your organization's approach to your employees' financial challenges. With Onyx Rising, you’re not just preparing your workforce for the unexpected—you’re paving the way for lasting prosperity and peace of mind.
Irma Neal is a Founding Partner at Onyx Rising.
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